Today's post is more like a dear diary post than anything else, and I think that's ok. I made some MAJOR life changes today. I literally quit my job, got another one, and applied to college. I also worked out which was also a major life change, because simply walking up the steps to my apartment is the extent of my athleticism. Seriously embarrassing but it feels as if I just ran a marathon every time I get to the top.
Life is so strange sometimes. It only took me almost 30 years but I think I finally figured it out. I've never felt like a "normal" person. I was the kid watching "I Love Lucy" or "Bewitched" instead of cartoons, and what felt like the only high school kid in my senior class who couldn't pick a major. I've done it all, went to MTSU straight out of high school but that didn't last long. Cosmetology school right after that. Unfortunately I'm a perfectionist and it once took me two hours to do a haircut, I never would have made it. Real Estate school. Literally done it all. I've been at a job for quite some time that quite frankly did not make me truly happy. I would go to work everyday and the more time that would pass by I realized there is something more out there for me, and that was not what I wanted to do my entire life. The more time that went by the more things started happening that made me realize what I actually want to do. I also got the best advice from a friend "If you don't like where you are- MOVE, you aren't a tree" and I can be the first to tell you, it's some of the best advice I've ever gotten ( thanks Brianna).
It all started out when I had a nose bleed so bad that I lost 1/4 of my body's blood(sorry graphics), it lasted about four hours and nothing could make it stop other than three doctors, two trips to the emergency room in 24 hours and two nights staying at the hospital. The first thing that I realized here was how the blood did not gross me out at all whatsoever. I can handle that. The second thing was the fact that out of the ten nurses I encountered, only about 3 of them were actually nice to me or seemed like they cared. I thought to myself, this is crazy, if this was the other way around I would be way more passionate about taking care of this person. I've always been a very caring person in general. Most times, almost too caring, which can either be a blessing or a curse. I feel like most times it's a curse but it is what it is. I think I get that from my mom (thanks Sue). Another thing that sort of changed my life is when I sat next to a blind woman named Terry on an airplane while traveling last month to Denver. I will never forget her, she was such a sweet woman. She made me appreciate things a whole lot more. She openly talked to me about being blind since birth. The statement that touched my heart the most was when she said "it doesn't really bother me, I don't know any other way, but I wonder if an apple looks like an apple feels". We then talked about how she doesn't even know what red looks like, she's never seen it. I can't even imagine that. She was still such a happy person. I found myself talking to her and helping her out with everything she needed the entire flight. It made me feel genuinely happy and good inside to know I was taking good care of her. I've always loved any possible way to make a difference in someone's life & I can't think of a better way for me personally than to become a nurse. At the end of my flight Terry told me that I would make the best nurse. That felt really good.
I've been wanting to go back to school for awhile, like I said the more days that would go by being unhappy and settling made me want it that much more. There would have been no possible way for me to go back to school working where I was. I took a leap of faith and realized life is too short, if you want to do something no one is stopping you! You are in charge of your own happiness. I wasn't going to be miserable any longer. I'm actually switching to another job where I will likely be making a lot less money but I've realized lately that money truly really does not buy you happiness. I understand money can buy you all kinds of things, but true happiness comes from within. I figured my family would be upset with me so I avoided telling them right away. Most found of from my facebook status but I was shocked when the first comment was from my dad. The first thing he said was "YOLO" , not kidding. He then followed it up with this: "Sometimes a bold move is what it takes to find happiness. I am proud you are courageous and ambitious!!! Most miserable people SETTLE!! They spend life miserable and at an old age, look back with regret!! I love you and we are proud of you!! I got your back Doll!!" You guys have no idea how much this comment meant to me coming from him.
I don't want to look back with regrets! I want to make myself happy and make myself and my family proud. These next few years are likely going to be a struggle. Financially, mentally and probably physically but I have no doubt in my mind I finally "know what I want to be when I grow up." It sounds crazy and almost weird to me to be so behind in life compared to others but I guess it's never too late. Change can be very scary but so can walking out your front door these days. If you have been thinking about making a change to better any aspect in your life ask yourself like I did "What are you waiting for?. Hold your vision and trust the process!! Life is too short to not be ridiculously obsessed with yours.
It was the best day ever, and I couldn't be happier because I am taking a chance and making a change. Thank you for reading, friends and for all my friends and family being so supportive of my decision, I really appreciate you!