Pregnant in Nashville

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Well hello again.  I almost can't believe I am writing this.  Can't believe I am writing again at all.  Can't believe I even remember how.  It has been A WHILE.  I am sorry I kind of went missing on you guys but my life, since the last time I did a blog post, has turned upside down, inside out, and back again.  I was in no place mentally to even write a thing, nor have I had the time.

I am not sure if you guys know or not but I work a full-time job at a clinical research company, come home every night and work on Native in Nashville shirts and packaging up orders and in the mean time I was going through a break up, which was VERY hard on me emotionally.  I wasn't really ok for awhile.  All of that mixed with handling normal responsibilities of being an adult, hardly left any time for me to gather my own thoughts for myself, let alone figure out a way to type them up, or put together any type of anything worth reading.  

In other news, fast forward to now, about 15 weeks ago I got the most shocking, terrifying, and what I would come to realize BEST news of my entire life....I found out I was pregnant.  If you follow me on Instagram on my @nativeinnashville page, you probably already know this news, but I wanted to give you guys kind of a life update.  I try not to post a WHOLE LOT of really personal things on that page and do so a lot more on my personal page @ambi_bambi, but my plan is to start blogging more and tying more pregnancy and mom posts into Native in Nashville.  Let me know if and what kinds of things you guys would be interested in seeing.  I definitely want to update y'all more than every 20 weeks. ;)  I am going to get pretty personal with you guys here, so if you aren't interested please exit now.

These are the most popular questions I have been asked so far.

"How did you find out?"

Well... my boobs started hurting VERY BADLY and I was about 5 days late.  My roommate drove me to the store to buy a test because she was convinced that I was pregnant.  I went in my bathroom, took the test, and came out after it changed to "positive" within 15 seconds with a ghostly look on my face and shaking.  I immediately texted one of my best friends with the words "I'm f'ing pregnant".  I could not believe my eyes.  I think I was shaking for about an hour straight. I have always wanted to be a mom, but I was not ready for this news at this particular time. I took off work the next day so I could go break the news to dad and because I needed to take an emotional day off.  I have taken pregnancy tests before, but when it actually says you are pregnant, its a whole new world.

"Who is the dad?"

This has got to be the single, most annoying, question that I've ever been asked/that people have ever been worried about of my entire life.  You guys have no idea what all I have been through with this before people knew who the dad was.  I had to learn the hard way about posting really personal relationship things on social media several years ago.  I haven't posted pictures of the last three guys I have dated, because it's honestly not everyone's business.   I can see why everyone was so curious, but the lengths some of these people were going to to find out who the father of my child is, were extreme and dramatic.  I had people accuse me of "not knowing who the father is", I had people using apps where they could text me from a fake phone number, acting like they were friends with me saying things like "whose the lucky dad". I had people calling me from blocked numbers almost every day.  I had people calling their friends who they knew had a mutual acquaintance with me asking if they could "please find out who Amber's baby's daddy is".  I can't make any of this up you guys.  I wish I could.  It was a lot to handle, and I am gonna be honest, when you are pregnant and your hormones are running wild, everything and everyone drives you crazy and your fuse gets extra short.  That is how it happened for me anyways.   

I don't and didn't mind sharing that information, but I wanted to do it when I was ready to, also didn't want his own mother or family to find out from social media.  Dad's name is Damon and he is someone that I have seen on and off for literally 10 years.  Here are a couple pictures of us from the night we met over 10 years ago when I was just 20.  We met at a Predators game and I used a fake ID to get in Tootsie's lol.  Cool unicorn shirt I'm wearing, I know. HA.  That's enough about that.   

"When is your due date?"

August 8th, 2017 !!  I absolutely cannot wait even though I am TERRIFIED.  I am so lucky that I have so many mama friends that can help me with the 767 questions I need to ask every day.

"Have you been sick?"

OMG YES!  Up until about 4 weeks ago I was nauseas almost every day.  I wouldn't actually get sick every single day, but I felt like I was going to.  The only thing I could think about eating for at least two months was carbs, and wayyyy too many french fries.  For some reason french fries and soup were the only things that sounded appealing.  On a positive note, I no longer wanted sweets.  Coming from a girl who used to embarrassingly eat 2 candy bars almost every single day at work, and felt like I had to have dessert after every meal, this was a VERY good thing.  I started out weighing 155 before I got pregnant (yes those candy bars did it to me) which is the heaviest I've ever been, but because of lack of being able to eat much at my 16 week checkup I had lost 12 lbs,  at my 20 week appointment this past week I have gained 2 lbs, so i am at 145.  Don't worry my baby is growing healthy and fine :)  I figured when I went this past time, since I am able to eat again, they would tell me I gained 10, luckily I am eating healthier choices and not near, or even 1/10th as many sweets as I was before.  

The past 3-4 weeks have been much better but this week, on Monday, I was having terrible cramps in my stomach to the point where I couldn't even walk, without being hunched all the way over.  My first instinct was that something was wrong with my baby, so I ended up having to go to the ER, and be seen in the Labor and Delivery department at almost midnight.  They checked every single thing there was to check and hooked me up to an IV of fluids, which helped tremendously, and said some of the pain was caused from round ligament pain.  When my nurse was checking for the baby's heartbeat, it took a really long time to find, so naturally I freaked out even further.  Once I heard the heartbeat, that alone, made me feel a million times better.  The following day was our 20 week ultrasound, the actual appointment where you are supposed to find out the gender of the baby, so seeing all of that made me even better.  I can tell you from my experience so far, that from the moment you find out you are pregnant, you never really stop worrying about your child.  I am a worrier, anyways, but I have never worried so much as I have about my baby.  Aside from that situation, this has been the roughest week of my life and I have been in the bed since Tuesday night with the flu.  I am praying for a better tomorrow and better weeks to come. 

"How did you pick the name?"

We chose to name HIM, yes it's a him, Denver and his last name will be Dimick.   For the first name I wanted something very different and it was my choice for a girl or a boy.  I was really set on using it for a girl but I loved it so much and I think it can go either way.  We took a little trip to Denver, Colorado to celebrate choosing the name (dad's idea).  His name is definitely different, some may say weird, and I can tell that some people don't like it when I tell them, but I really don't care, because I do and luckily for them, they will be able to name their children whatever name they choose ;).

Here are a few more pictures from along our journey.

The Announcement :)  

Blanket: Modern Burlap

Lightbox : Heidi Swapp 

PC: Jennifer Cody Weddings

Ultrasound taken at 15 weeks.  We went to Focused Imaging in Green Hills to find out the gender of our baby early.  Apparently Rick who does them, hasn't been wrong in over 13 years.  I literally couldn't wait any longer. 

Gender Reveal Day :) Valentine's Day 2017

Dress: Rent the Runway

Hair: Dry House Nashville

MUA: Dani Carpenter

Reveal Balloon: Made it myself, please ask if you would like instructions.  

PC: Jennifer Cody Weddings

I made a pink and a blue filled balloon, and had the man who did our ultrasound hand us which balloon we needed to pop.  NO ONE knew until the minute we popped it.  It was the most fun and exciting day ever.   I have secretly always wanted to have a baby BOY.

My first baby bump picture taken at 16 weeks.  I don't know how you girls get such cute pictures of your baby bumps, but I need to take lessons.

Ultrasound taken at 20 weeks exactly.  I feel like he is saying "You can do it mom". I love him so much already!!  We are HALF WAY THERE!!

Thank you all for following along with my journey!!  I appreciate you reading!!  I look forward to sharing more.  Now back to online shopping for Denver & having heartburn.  Oh the joys of motherhood. 

XO, 

Amber

 

20 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before Turning 30

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Well, I literally never thought I would see the day that I turned THIRTY YEARS OLD.  That dreadful monumental moment has arrived in my life, and up until this point I've been very uncomfortable with the idea of being this old.  I have decided now, that I am going to embrace it!  Turning 30 is like a really, seriously big deal.  I believe if you can make it to thirty, you can make it through anything!  Let's face it, by thirty you made it through that awkward losing teeth phase, learning Algebra, high school in general, your teen years, and probably several heartbreaks.  Not to mention having to pay bills for your first time, living on your own, doing your own laundry, and cooking yourself dinner.  I feel like I am officially a WOMAN!  There are so many things I wish I would have known along the way throughout the course of my life so far, so I want to share a few or twenty of them with you.  

1. When people tell you eating bad will catch up to you, it absolutely will.  I swear, in the past month I have gained about 10 lbs.  Nothing has changed in my diet, no, I'm not pregnant, it's just life, I guess.

2. When boys are mean to you IT DOES NOT mean they like you.  It means RUN, and RUN as FAST AS YOU CAN!

3. Tattoos are permanent...no, but seriously, think more than twice before you go getting something crazy permanently placed on your body.

4.  You can't change people.  People have got to want to change themselves.

5.  Building your credit is more important than building your Instagram follower count.  

6.  Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.

7.  If you don't like where you are, move.  YOU ARE NOT A TREE.

8.  Believe in yourself.  You must become unshakable in the belief that you are worthy of a big life.  You got this!

9.  Money does NOT buy you happiness.  

10.  You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.

11.  You will end up disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do. 

12.  Listen to your mom.  Turns out mothers really do know best!

13.  Watch what you say.  Words are free.  It's how you use them that may cost you.

14.  Life doesn't always turn out how you expect it to.  Never, in a million years, would I have ever imagined to be thirty years old, with no husband or children.  

15.  Everyone's true colors will eventually show.  Trust me on this.

16.  Stop saying "yes" to sh*t you hate.  If you don't want to do something don't.  

17.  Never chase love, affection or attention.  If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having.

18.  In 30 years, I have never gotten Salmonella by eating raw cookie dough.  EAT THE RAW COOKIE DOUGH. (ha)

19.  What doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.

20.  The best is yet to come.  I always wonder how one year could be better than the last, but it seems these days, that almost every single day is better than the last.  

I'm ready to see what these next thirty years have in store!  I have had a great life so far.  Has it been perfect? No.  Has it been ideal and what life is "supposed" to be? No.  Has it been challenging? Heck Yeah.  Would I trade it if I could?  NOPE.  I plan to make my next thirty years even better than the last.  Life is short, do the things you have always wanted to do, and make it amazing!  Tomorrow is not promised. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

HELLO 30!!

PC: Brasspenny Photography

PC: Brasspenny Photography

Thank you, as always for reading!!

DEAR MAMA: Mother's Day Ain't So Happy For Everyone

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If y'all didn't think I was going to start this off with the name of a Tupac song, y'all are crazy. No, but on a serious note, I'm here to talk about one thing.   Mama's and Mother's Day.  With Mother's Day being tomorrow, I can't think of a better topic.  I'm going to be completely honest, Mother's Day gives me mixed emotions, and I'm going to explain to you why, after I put out rave reviews about mine.

 To begin, I want to say that I am lucky.  I have the absolute best mom in this entire world.  It's funny how we all seem to think that, so I guess I will say she's definitely the best and most perfect mama for me.  As far as I can remember back, she has always done any and everything in her power to support me or help me out.  I think my siblings and I can all agree on this and there were four of us.  This day and age, with a group that size, everyone agreeing is pretty rare.  (Insert eye rolling emoji here) We didn't agree on much, but no one can argue that.  We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but there was never a time she didn't make us breakfast...ok it was usually cereal, make our lunch, and cook dinner for us every single night.  I am talking a sit down, full plate, of home-cookin', EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.  Although, I have to say I'm still upset with her for making me drink a glass of milk with it, it was AWESOME.  Nowadays I go out to eat about 85% of my meals and it's just not the same ....I don't cook at all, she definitely spoiled me in that area.  We always had THE BIGGEST Christmas, our entire living room would be filled with presents from her, and then Santa.  Now, when I think back, the fact that all of those gifts I thought were from "Santa" were actually from my parents amazes me!  How the heck did we afford that?  Back in the day, when I was supposed to get married (I'll get into this another day) we went wedding dress shopping together.  I found, what I thought then was the perfect dress, she spent every penny she had saved up to buy it for me.  There is nothing she wouldn't do for me, or any of us four kids.  She is THE most supportive person I know.  She shares EVERY single blog post I do, even if it's nothing she is interested in.  She's my number one fan.  Mother's Day is great getting to celebrate her and the other women in my life who I'm lucky enough to call family. 

Why do I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day, you ask?  I did just say it's great for me, but I probably should have said mostly great.   The main reason is that I have this heart, which I got from my mama, and it's a great big & sensitive one.   One that cries almost daily watching heartwarming viral videos and commercials.   I feel so deeply for things ,and for people, and it seems to either be a blessing or a curse, never in between.  I am mostly happy on Mother's Day because I have my mom here to celebrate.  I have all of my grandmas and even a great grandmother still here to celebrate.  For that I thank God.  This big heart of mine doesn't let me just think about myself though, I think about the people who have lost their mother, who as if they don't think about the loss of someone so precious enough, they have to be reminded of it every day for a month or two, with commercials, walking down card aisles, and advertisements about what you should get your mom for Mother's Day.  I can't even imagine going through that.  To whoever you are, my heart goes out.  Then there is that woman who may have had a miscarriage or lost their baby who has to be reminded about such a devastating time in their life.  Next the woman like myself, who would die to have a baby and be a mother.  I'm not going to go too much in detail about this, I will save that for a rainy day, but being almost thirty years old and being the minority in the having kids category is rather depressing.  Most of my friends are on their second or third child, and I'm still sitting here praying for my first one and an excuse to gain a few pounds.  I'm already reminded every day that I'm not a mom, I don't need another.   Then, there is the woman who may not have the best relationship with their mothers.  Maybe their mom wasn't around much, maybe their mom was abusive, or an alcoholic, or an addict who wasn't the best mother.  Whatever the case may be, I think we all need to take into consideration that Mother's Day isn't so happy for everyone.  

Anyone whose hearts hurt on and around Mother's Day, my heart goes out to you!  I encourage you all to reach out to someone who may have a hard time on Mother's Day this year.  It could mean more than you know. 

This one is obviously non Nashvile related, it's just me venting, but I appreciate you all reading!